My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX
At first glance, reading some threads here, I thought this might be a great forum in which to write what all is going on and get real people answering.
We are joint conservators and awaiting a custody evaluation (social study) for better orders. (The day of court for temp orders was crazy, basically threatened to lie to judge if I didn't agree to their terms, so me and my attorney felt it was best to let the evaluator do her job rather than the judge in a quick hearing -- really long story there)
The wording is normal legal jargon but does say that we have the right to receive information regarding education, medical, stuff like that; and also says under duties that we must inform the other conservator of such things. The best advice I got so far was to go back to court for clarification of the orders. My attorney agrees that these are non unreasonable requests, that they're my children too and I should have the right to the things my ex denies.
The history of us: in the beginning of our separation, we actually became great friends, and told each other everything about the kids, and it all stopped when her mother hired an attorney because she did not like our arrangement. My ex's openness with me came to a halt. She replaced my daughter's tablet so she is not unable to text or call me like she used to, and denies "telephone access." No matter how many times I ask, I don't get to see her folder from school anymore, so I am missing out on her education and school activities. And if I know about a dr appt, I have to prompt for info the next day (giving her benefit of the doubt she didn't feel like texting right after the appointment) And she chooses what things need medical treatment; eg: told her daugher's ears hurt, she didn't respond, found out a month later that she took daughter to ENT Dr because she complained of ear pain, and when I pointed out that I've been telling her about it, ex replies that our daughter hasn't complained yet.
Currently there's many things I feel like I missed. I don't know how much of it is petty, but you have to understand that they're my kids and it is so hard to not know what's going on in their lives. Like Friday both kids had a check-up, my daughter was complaining that she couldn't see well far away, so obviously I wanted to know how that check-up went. I texted Saturday in which my ex replies that her eyes are fine but will be making an appointment with an optometrist anyway. Yesterday about 7PM I texted asking if she had made that appointment and for when it is. No response as of yet.
Our SAPCR orders are in draft stage, and last I spoke with my attorney, I told him about all these things, how she doesn't update me about dr appts, and I don't get to see schoolwork, along with the fact that in our agreement she was supposed to allow telephone access a few times / week but is still denying it. He said those are not unreasonable requests, and will talk to her attorney about rewriting it so that it is clearer for her, but that we don't normally do that until final orders. I tried to tell him nevermind, only discuss telephone access, and for the rest to use as ammo against her, but he cut me off and said he's playing catch up and has to call his next client, cuz I kept saying "uhh" and changing my mind.
I'm not sure what to expect out of the next revision of the temp orders. I did email him to tell him what my main concern is, since for the rest, it is actually in the orders, just not clear enough for her to "do what a parent is supposed to do" (my attorney's words)
So my question to you guys, is if it's not clearly defined in the orders to inform me of doctor's appointments and what's transpired at them, and allow me the chance to see schoolwork and know of school activities, then is she still in the wrong? When my attorney said usually not until final orders as we use this for ammo during the temp orders, is he correct? Will it matter to the lady conducting the social study (custody evaluation)? Or do I need to take action now? I'm afraid to text her again to remind her I would like to know about my daughter's eye dr appointment.
Edit - Addon: Also last weekend my daughter told me that her mother said she'd be enrolling her in girl scouts. This really isn't covered under health or education, but isn't it something she should ask me about first, or at least tell me?
At first glance, reading some threads here, I thought this might be a great forum in which to write what all is going on and get real people answering.
We are joint conservators and awaiting a custody evaluation (social study) for better orders. (The day of court for temp orders was crazy, basically threatened to lie to judge if I didn't agree to their terms, so me and my attorney felt it was best to let the evaluator do her job rather than the judge in a quick hearing -- really long story there)
The wording is normal legal jargon but does say that we have the right to receive information regarding education, medical, stuff like that; and also says under duties that we must inform the other conservator of such things. The best advice I got so far was to go back to court for clarification of the orders. My attorney agrees that these are non unreasonable requests, that they're my children too and I should have the right to the things my ex denies.
The history of us: in the beginning of our separation, we actually became great friends, and told each other everything about the kids, and it all stopped when her mother hired an attorney because she did not like our arrangement. My ex's openness with me came to a halt. She replaced my daughter's tablet so she is not unable to text or call me like she used to, and denies "telephone access." No matter how many times I ask, I don't get to see her folder from school anymore, so I am missing out on her education and school activities. And if I know about a dr appt, I have to prompt for info the next day (giving her benefit of the doubt she didn't feel like texting right after the appointment) And she chooses what things need medical treatment; eg: told her daugher's ears hurt, she didn't respond, found out a month later that she took daughter to ENT Dr because she complained of ear pain, and when I pointed out that I've been telling her about it, ex replies that our daughter hasn't complained yet.
Currently there's many things I feel like I missed. I don't know how much of it is petty, but you have to understand that they're my kids and it is so hard to not know what's going on in their lives. Like Friday both kids had a check-up, my daughter was complaining that she couldn't see well far away, so obviously I wanted to know how that check-up went. I texted Saturday in which my ex replies that her eyes are fine but will be making an appointment with an optometrist anyway. Yesterday about 7PM I texted asking if she had made that appointment and for when it is. No response as of yet.
Our SAPCR orders are in draft stage, and last I spoke with my attorney, I told him about all these things, how she doesn't update me about dr appts, and I don't get to see schoolwork, along with the fact that in our agreement she was supposed to allow telephone access a few times / week but is still denying it. He said those are not unreasonable requests, and will talk to her attorney about rewriting it so that it is clearer for her, but that we don't normally do that until final orders. I tried to tell him nevermind, only discuss telephone access, and for the rest to use as ammo against her, but he cut me off and said he's playing catch up and has to call his next client, cuz I kept saying "uhh" and changing my mind.
I'm not sure what to expect out of the next revision of the temp orders. I did email him to tell him what my main concern is, since for the rest, it is actually in the orders, just not clear enough for her to "do what a parent is supposed to do" (my attorney's words)
So my question to you guys, is if it's not clearly defined in the orders to inform me of doctor's appointments and what's transpired at them, and allow me the chance to see schoolwork and know of school activities, then is she still in the wrong? When my attorney said usually not until final orders as we use this for ammo during the temp orders, is he correct? Will it matter to the lady conducting the social study (custody evaluation)? Or do I need to take action now? I'm afraid to text her again to remind her I would like to know about my daughter's eye dr appointment.
Edit - Addon: Also last weekend my daughter told me that her mother said she'd be enrolling her in girl scouts. This really isn't covered under health or education, but isn't it something she should ask me about first, or at least tell me?
Enforcing Custody Orders: School, Medical, Phone Access - What is Custodial Parent Required to Do
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