Please excuse me if this is in the wrong location, I'm just not sure where to put it.
I live in Virginia and my grandchild died of SIDS and was cremated. My Son and DIL are young with an unstable living condition and an emotionally volatile relationship. About a year after my grandson passed they gave me his remains since I could provide a stable respectful place until we could "send him on". My family is Native American and they chose together to release him in the fashion and location that my family has used for generations. It takes money to get there so we can't do it yet.
Each time they fight badly and say they are getting divorced my DIL texts me demanding his ashes back. Up until now it has always blown over before I had to respond. As soon as it did, she didn't want him back anymore.
This time however looks like it may actually happen. 3 days ago I got the demands and I explained that they had given him to me to keep safe. Unless they both came to me together and said they'd changed their mind about me having him, I would not give him to either of them alone. Because neither has anymore right than the other. It blew over again and she didn't want him anymore.
I awoke to 8 texts this morning that it exploded again and she would get him back no matter what.
There's more to it, but I was already having a hard time keeping this at this length. My question is: Since they gave him to me, so I have to give him to her if my son is adamantly opposed? I would not give him to my son either if my DIL wanted him to stay. This is not being "against" my DIL, I'm just looking out for my grandson.
This is a volatile situation for me and given the information I didn't put in here, I know what the "right" thing to do is. I'm wondering about the Legal thing. Do I have to give him to her without my son's permission?
I hate to think like this, but I don't know if cremated remains are regarded as property where they gave him to me and I don't have to give him back just because she alone changed her mind.
Thank you for your time and consideration in reading this. Any advice or information is greatly appreciated
I live in Virginia and my grandchild died of SIDS and was cremated. My Son and DIL are young with an unstable living condition and an emotionally volatile relationship. About a year after my grandson passed they gave me his remains since I could provide a stable respectful place until we could "send him on". My family is Native American and they chose together to release him in the fashion and location that my family has used for generations. It takes money to get there so we can't do it yet.
Each time they fight badly and say they are getting divorced my DIL texts me demanding his ashes back. Up until now it has always blown over before I had to respond. As soon as it did, she didn't want him back anymore.
This time however looks like it may actually happen. 3 days ago I got the demands and I explained that they had given him to me to keep safe. Unless they both came to me together and said they'd changed their mind about me having him, I would not give him to either of them alone. Because neither has anymore right than the other. It blew over again and she didn't want him anymore.
I awoke to 8 texts this morning that it exploded again and she would get him back no matter what.
There's more to it, but I was already having a hard time keeping this at this length. My question is: Since they gave him to me, so I have to give him to her if my son is adamantly opposed? I would not give him to my son either if my DIL wanted him to stay. This is not being "against" my DIL, I'm just looking out for my grandson.
This is a volatile situation for me and given the information I didn't put in here, I know what the "right" thing to do is. I'm wondering about the Legal thing. Do I have to give him to her without my son's permission?
I hate to think like this, but I don't know if cremated remains are regarded as property where they gave him to me and I don't have to give him back just because she alone changed her mind.
Thank you for your time and consideration in reading this. Any advice or information is greatly appreciated
Separation: Right to Child's Cremated Remains During Separation
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