My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania
My ex and I separated about 4 months after my first daughter was born, we then officially divorced about a year after that. Ever since, she has made it her sworn duty to separate me from as much of my money as possible and also as many family members as she possibly can, more on that another time. One thing she very specifically said to me after we first separated was "I will bleed you dry". Once we separated, she was still on the fence about how to proceed with the relationship. At this time, we had an unofficial agreement for support which included a spreadsheet of the breakdown of when, where and how much money was spent and for what, which we split almost perfectly evenly.
During this "separation" period, her parents, both retired, offered (actually offered even before our child was born) to take care of her and be the daycare at no charge. As fate would have it, about 3 months after the initial separation, she decided that it was in her best interest to move on without me and dissolve the marriage. The real issue here is that all of a sudden, when she came to this epiphany, HER PARENTS miraculously started charging "us" for "daycare" to the tune of $800 per month, or $400 per month for her and I individually. I understand that people need to get paid but this is your first grandchild, who the hell does that? Anyway, flash forward almost 2 years and they are still charging and I am STILL on the hook for my half of it, which I am convinced, as is my lawyer and my new wife and any other family member who hasn't been corrupted by my ex, that this money is going right back into her pocket in some way or another... them using it to pay her bills, groceries, lawyer, etc.
So at this point, I am stuck with an extra $400 expense for the child support. We originally struck a deal whereby I payed $860 per month for CS. Then, I was out of work but collecting unemployment and was able to get the amount of CS down to about $720 a month, but just found a job again making decent money just as our next CS hearing came about and now I am on the hook for $950 per month for one child! Based on the calculations I've come up with using the state calculator, I should be paying in the neighborhood of $520-$580.
Having to pay so much extra on top of the upkeep of a home (rent, utilities) and the actual costs for raising a child for a completely separate home (which doesn't cost me $950!) is truly affecting our ability to have a good life for our kids and for them to have fun things to do and a few toys to play with instead of new clothes and shoes every week for her mother and my daughter at her mother's house. I'm basically paying twice for everything, two homes worth of clothes and toys, two lawyers, two mortgages/rents, double utilities. It's the day care that is killing me the most and I have no proof of anything "shady" so there is nothing I can do and I'm basically screwed until she starts going to school, right? Or is there...?
Where is the justice here?
My ex and I separated about 4 months after my first daughter was born, we then officially divorced about a year after that. Ever since, she has made it her sworn duty to separate me from as much of my money as possible and also as many family members as she possibly can, more on that another time. One thing she very specifically said to me after we first separated was "I will bleed you dry". Once we separated, she was still on the fence about how to proceed with the relationship. At this time, we had an unofficial agreement for support which included a spreadsheet of the breakdown of when, where and how much money was spent and for what, which we split almost perfectly evenly.
During this "separation" period, her parents, both retired, offered (actually offered even before our child was born) to take care of her and be the daycare at no charge. As fate would have it, about 3 months after the initial separation, she decided that it was in her best interest to move on without me and dissolve the marriage. The real issue here is that all of a sudden, when she came to this epiphany, HER PARENTS miraculously started charging "us" for "daycare" to the tune of $800 per month, or $400 per month for her and I individually. I understand that people need to get paid but this is your first grandchild, who the hell does that? Anyway, flash forward almost 2 years and they are still charging and I am STILL on the hook for my half of it, which I am convinced, as is my lawyer and my new wife and any other family member who hasn't been corrupted by my ex, that this money is going right back into her pocket in some way or another... them using it to pay her bills, groceries, lawyer, etc.
So at this point, I am stuck with an extra $400 expense for the child support. We originally struck a deal whereby I payed $860 per month for CS. Then, I was out of work but collecting unemployment and was able to get the amount of CS down to about $720 a month, but just found a job again making decent money just as our next CS hearing came about and now I am on the hook for $950 per month for one child! Based on the calculations I've come up with using the state calculator, I should be paying in the neighborhood of $520-$580.
Having to pay so much extra on top of the upkeep of a home (rent, utilities) and the actual costs for raising a child for a completely separate home (which doesn't cost me $950!) is truly affecting our ability to have a good life for our kids and for them to have fun things to do and a few toys to play with instead of new clothes and shoes every week for her mother and my daughter at her mother's house. I'm basically paying twice for everything, two homes worth of clothes and toys, two lawyers, two mortgages/rents, double utilities. It's the day care that is killing me the most and I have no proof of anything "shady" so there is nothing I can do and I'm basically screwed until she starts going to school, right? Or is there...?
Where is the justice here?
Calculation of Support: Ex-Wife Steamrolling Me for Costly Daycare Provided by Her Parents
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