My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri / Indiana.
My husband has full custody of my step son that was granted at the end of April 2017. His mother gets every other week visitations with my step son.
Background on mom - She is a drug addict. Extremely controversial. Multiple domestic abuse cases. CPS cases for child endangerment. Rehab stays that we’re never finished. Refuses to work and mooches money off of everyone and anyone she can get money from. Moved 3 hours away, then 8 hours away from her son, now back to the same location three hours away. While father was in jail in 2015, she dropped both of her children, (Oldest isn’t my husbands child) with her mother and ran off and got strung out on meth again. Got thrown down a flight of stairs by the guy she was sleeping with and the crap beat out of her while holding my step son in her arms. Was issued 3 drug tests during court proceedings that she refused to take and didn’t show for final hearing.
Background on father (My husband) - she wouldn’t allow him to work, so until he was released after she broke his knee he didn’t work for almost 7 years before that incident. Works now, but didn’t start till beginning of May 2017. He had alcohol issues when his knee got broken due to her abusing his pain medication and the doctor refusing to prescribe anymore meds to him. In 2015 he went to jail over a domestic case - he broke the window in her car and she pressed charges against him though she wasn’t in the vehicle. It ended in a child endangerment case that she pursued, but the charges were dropped from him and CPS cleared him and dropped the child endangerment charges all together. His charges were misdemeanor charges and that’s all he has. He is clean and now completely sober and has been for 6 months (March 2017.) Granted custody and in the process of court cases told them he would willingly take any tests they wanted him to take because he was now clean & sober.
When he was granted sole legal custody, she didn’t show for the court case. She had a warrant for her arrest in the town in MO that we had to go to for court. We were granted full custody on the spot and in the same month she lost custody of her oldest child to her mother who had had her oldest for almost two years.
Here is the timeline of events for a little more background.
June 2016- divorce filed.
August 2016- they got back together.
September 2016- she shattered his knee.
End of September 2016- they moved to Indiana.
October 11, 2016- he asked her to leave residence and continued divorce.
October 12, 2016- she left with their son.
She kept their son from him until February 2017. When the divorce was initially file, he was granted temporary custody until the cour proceedings determined where he should be.
February 2017- he came to live with us in Indiana because she admitted she could not take care of him & had not had a place to live in weeks.
April 2017- Out parenting plan was turned in about a week prior to the court hearing.
April 25. 2017- court that she didn’t show up for due to warrant for her arrest in that county and father rewarded full sole legal custody.
Parenting plan: father has sole legal custody, joint physical custody for mother. She pays no child support to us, and was not responsible for any of his momentary responsibilities because we knew that as shallow and money hungry as she is, it would be enough to get her to agree to it and we would get custody if she didn’t want to pay anything, and we knew that’s what she’s would do because money is big for her since she has no income and mooches off anyone she can. They alternate the holidays and summer vacations and spring breaks, as of now. But for the sake of his safety we need this changed before he spends an extended amount of time with her and something bad happens to him.
We want to revise the custody. He wants and has to keep sole custody, because she puts him in unsafe situations. She doesn’t show for visitations half of the time and if she does she’s always almost an hour late to pick up and drop off knowing It’s a two hour drive for us to get to her and makes us not get home until almost 10 pm on Sunday and he has to go to school Monday morning. She showed up once with an open container, and when we callshe s the attorney on the spot they told us there was nothing we could do and we couldn’t legally keep him from her until more court proceedings were files. MO has laws that allow open containers as long as long as they arent the drivers. However she was in Indiana and open containers are not allowed at all.
Due to her drug and alcohol use, we want supervised visitations & have I text messages from her and her mother telling us that she is unstable and that her mother now requires her to take a “drug test” once a week to live with her. But it’s a basic drug test, and doesn’t cover the meth spectrum and even if it did a week in between tests is enough time for her to use after the test and be clean for a panel test the next week.
We also have to change pick up and drop off locations because we are forced to drive significantly farther than her now due to us moving to a town north of where we lived when the parenting plan was filed because it was closer to work for us. She drives and hour and we drive two, but she doesn’t work and my husband and I both work full time jobs at 6am, 12 hours a day 6 days a week, But she can never show up on time.
They “parallel parent” due to the confrontation between my husband and her. I am the go between for the two of them, allong with a parents program to communicate what’s going on in their sons life.
We want to proceed with court in indiana because that is where he legally resides, but the case began in MO, and the final hearing was there as well. Do we have to go to MO to deal with this all, or can we have the case transferred to Indiana since that is where my step son attends school and resides legally?
Please help. We’re overwhelmed with how she is living her life and are not comfortable with the way things happen when he is with her. She doesn’t have him brush his teeth, he has 2 that are being extracted, 3 permanent, two of which already decaying- 1 of them receiving a cap, and there are 6 capped already, two more being capped the end of October and has no top front teeth because they’ve already been extracted, completely rotted and my husband and I are now investing almost two grand in his dental care because of the entent of damage and decay. I don’t care if she pays to help, but she refuses to help keep his teeth in better condition after the work that’s been done and is going to be done. Keep in mind, he is only 5 years old. He’s had more work than me by the time he wasn’t three than I have, and I’m 24 years old.
We need help. We don’t know where to go from here, and is being spiteful and hateful with everything we do. She wants me to have nothing to do with his care, but my husband has placed me on all of his doctor and dental stuff so that I can. I carry his insuranc and I am his guarantor. Keep in mind, she is 32 years old, I am only 24. I have had more to do in a motherly aspect with this child in the last 2 months I’ve been married to his father than she has in the last year I have been in his life. She is not a good person at all.
My husband has full custody of my step son that was granted at the end of April 2017. His mother gets every other week visitations with my step son.
Background on mom - She is a drug addict. Extremely controversial. Multiple domestic abuse cases. CPS cases for child endangerment. Rehab stays that we’re never finished. Refuses to work and mooches money off of everyone and anyone she can get money from. Moved 3 hours away, then 8 hours away from her son, now back to the same location three hours away. While father was in jail in 2015, she dropped both of her children, (Oldest isn’t my husbands child) with her mother and ran off and got strung out on meth again. Got thrown down a flight of stairs by the guy she was sleeping with and the crap beat out of her while holding my step son in her arms. Was issued 3 drug tests during court proceedings that she refused to take and didn’t show for final hearing.
Background on father (My husband) - she wouldn’t allow him to work, so until he was released after she broke his knee he didn’t work for almost 7 years before that incident. Works now, but didn’t start till beginning of May 2017. He had alcohol issues when his knee got broken due to her abusing his pain medication and the doctor refusing to prescribe anymore meds to him. In 2015 he went to jail over a domestic case - he broke the window in her car and she pressed charges against him though she wasn’t in the vehicle. It ended in a child endangerment case that she pursued, but the charges were dropped from him and CPS cleared him and dropped the child endangerment charges all together. His charges were misdemeanor charges and that’s all he has. He is clean and now completely sober and has been for 6 months (March 2017.) Granted custody and in the process of court cases told them he would willingly take any tests they wanted him to take because he was now clean & sober.
When he was granted sole legal custody, she didn’t show for the court case. She had a warrant for her arrest in the town in MO that we had to go to for court. We were granted full custody on the spot and in the same month she lost custody of her oldest child to her mother who had had her oldest for almost two years.
Here is the timeline of events for a little more background.
June 2016- divorce filed.
August 2016- they got back together.
September 2016- she shattered his knee.
End of September 2016- they moved to Indiana.
October 11, 2016- he asked her to leave residence and continued divorce.
October 12, 2016- she left with their son.
She kept their son from him until February 2017. When the divorce was initially file, he was granted temporary custody until the cour proceedings determined where he should be.
February 2017- he came to live with us in Indiana because she admitted she could not take care of him & had not had a place to live in weeks.
April 2017- Out parenting plan was turned in about a week prior to the court hearing.
April 25. 2017- court that she didn’t show up for due to warrant for her arrest in that county and father rewarded full sole legal custody.
Parenting plan: father has sole legal custody, joint physical custody for mother. She pays no child support to us, and was not responsible for any of his momentary responsibilities because we knew that as shallow and money hungry as she is, it would be enough to get her to agree to it and we would get custody if she didn’t want to pay anything, and we knew that’s what she’s would do because money is big for her since she has no income and mooches off anyone she can. They alternate the holidays and summer vacations and spring breaks, as of now. But for the sake of his safety we need this changed before he spends an extended amount of time with her and something bad happens to him.
We want to revise the custody. He wants and has to keep sole custody, because she puts him in unsafe situations. She doesn’t show for visitations half of the time and if she does she’s always almost an hour late to pick up and drop off knowing It’s a two hour drive for us to get to her and makes us not get home until almost 10 pm on Sunday and he has to go to school Monday morning. She showed up once with an open container, and when we callshe s the attorney on the spot they told us there was nothing we could do and we couldn’t legally keep him from her until more court proceedings were files. MO has laws that allow open containers as long as long as they arent the drivers. However she was in Indiana and open containers are not allowed at all.
Due to her drug and alcohol use, we want supervised visitations & have I text messages from her and her mother telling us that she is unstable and that her mother now requires her to take a “drug test” once a week to live with her. But it’s a basic drug test, and doesn’t cover the meth spectrum and even if it did a week in between tests is enough time for her to use after the test and be clean for a panel test the next week.
We also have to change pick up and drop off locations because we are forced to drive significantly farther than her now due to us moving to a town north of where we lived when the parenting plan was filed because it was closer to work for us. She drives and hour and we drive two, but she doesn’t work and my husband and I both work full time jobs at 6am, 12 hours a day 6 days a week, But she can never show up on time.
They “parallel parent” due to the confrontation between my husband and her. I am the go between for the two of them, allong with a parents program to communicate what’s going on in their sons life.
We want to proceed with court in indiana because that is where he legally resides, but the case began in MO, and the final hearing was there as well. Do we have to go to MO to deal with this all, or can we have the case transferred to Indiana since that is where my step son attends school and resides legally?
Please help. We’re overwhelmed with how she is living her life and are not comfortable with the way things happen when he is with her. She doesn’t have him brush his teeth, he has 2 that are being extracted, 3 permanent, two of which already decaying- 1 of them receiving a cap, and there are 6 capped already, two more being capped the end of October and has no top front teeth because they’ve already been extracted, completely rotted and my husband and I are now investing almost two grand in his dental care because of the entent of damage and decay. I don’t care if she pays to help, but she refuses to help keep his teeth in better condition after the work that’s been done and is going to be done. Keep in mind, he is only 5 years old. He’s had more work than me by the time he wasn’t three than I have, and I’m 24 years old.
We need help. We don’t know where to go from here, and is being spiteful and hateful with everything we do. She wants me to have nothing to do with his care, but my husband has placed me on all of his doctor and dental stuff so that I can. I carry his insuranc and I am his guarantor. Keep in mind, she is 32 years old, I am only 24. I have had more to do in a motherly aspect with this child in the last 2 months I’ve been married to his father than she has in the last year I have been in his life. She is not a good person at all.
Custody and Visitation Issues: What to Do if a Child is Unsafe and Neglected During Visitation
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