My question involves a child custody case from the State of: IN
I am the mother.
In early 2006, divorce was final, children were 4 and 2. Decree stated that children would live temporarily with my XMIL. (actually said with him but practiced by his mother in our hometown). I was (sort of) fine with that, as I was temp with my parents, until I saved for my own place. Ex H was in another state. I saw kids all the time, developed a wonderful relationship with the XMIL which lasts to this day.
A few months later, Ex H got into an argument with his mother over an inconsequential matter and decided to cut her out of his life (happens frequently with him), he drove 2 days, grabbed the kids and left. They didn't want to go. He told me as soon as I have a place they can live, I could come get them. A week or two later I had a place and made the drive. We signed an agreement between us stating I would have primary custody and he would have visitation (basically normal EOW and holiday stuff). Over the next 11 years, until now, he has moved around many times, and seen them sporadically. He has been infrequently paying some CS. I already know it was stupid not to get the order modified based on the signed agreement between us.
So also for the last 11 years, the 2 children have lived with me, attended school, spent time with family, all that. A couple years ago he landed somewhere 14 or so hours away and they have spent some Christmas breaks and some summer breaks with him, but not consistently. I have always made it a point to not speak badly about him to them, and to encourage them to go spend time with him when he wants them. It's getting a lot harder to convince them, but I know it's on me to get them to do so.
They are now 15 and 13. The youngest has special needs which requires therapy, school IEPs, special school placement, lots of extra patience and love. He struggles with transitions greatly and also doesn't want to go to his father's at all. He says he is scared of the yelling his father does. I keep encouraging him to try for a positive relationship with him, but they are both discovering on their own the type of person their father is. I swear this is with no help from me.
So, last week the exH drove an entire day and showed up at my house saying he revokes our written agreement and asked the police to force me to pack up just the youngest son's belongings and he has decided to discipline the special needs out of him. He was not cooperative with the police, and they told him they will not do that due to the status quo. So the ex has filed a motion for contempt. I have hired an attorney and we will be filing our own motion to officially modify custody based on the written agreement and the status quo of 11 years. Changing the way things have been would be bad for my youngest son due to his special needs. He also only tried to get the one child. I think he is still in town a week later because he believes on the initial court date the judge will just hand them over. In this time, he has not asked to actually see either child. In fact I haven't heard anything more at all from him since he advised me he was filing to have me arrested for kidnapping.
Thoughts?
I am the mother.
In early 2006, divorce was final, children were 4 and 2. Decree stated that children would live temporarily with my XMIL. (actually said with him but practiced by his mother in our hometown). I was (sort of) fine with that, as I was temp with my parents, until I saved for my own place. Ex H was in another state. I saw kids all the time, developed a wonderful relationship with the XMIL which lasts to this day.
A few months later, Ex H got into an argument with his mother over an inconsequential matter and decided to cut her out of his life (happens frequently with him), he drove 2 days, grabbed the kids and left. They didn't want to go. He told me as soon as I have a place they can live, I could come get them. A week or two later I had a place and made the drive. We signed an agreement between us stating I would have primary custody and he would have visitation (basically normal EOW and holiday stuff). Over the next 11 years, until now, he has moved around many times, and seen them sporadically. He has been infrequently paying some CS. I already know it was stupid not to get the order modified based on the signed agreement between us.
So also for the last 11 years, the 2 children have lived with me, attended school, spent time with family, all that. A couple years ago he landed somewhere 14 or so hours away and they have spent some Christmas breaks and some summer breaks with him, but not consistently. I have always made it a point to not speak badly about him to them, and to encourage them to go spend time with him when he wants them. It's getting a lot harder to convince them, but I know it's on me to get them to do so.
They are now 15 and 13. The youngest has special needs which requires therapy, school IEPs, special school placement, lots of extra patience and love. He struggles with transitions greatly and also doesn't want to go to his father's at all. He says he is scared of the yelling his father does. I keep encouraging him to try for a positive relationship with him, but they are both discovering on their own the type of person their father is. I swear this is with no help from me.
So, last week the exH drove an entire day and showed up at my house saying he revokes our written agreement and asked the police to force me to pack up just the youngest son's belongings and he has decided to discipline the special needs out of him. He was not cooperative with the police, and they told him they will not do that due to the status quo. So the ex has filed a motion for contempt. I have hired an attorney and we will be filing our own motion to officially modify custody based on the written agreement and the status quo of 11 years. Changing the way things have been would be bad for my youngest son due to his special needs. He also only tried to get the one child. I think he is still in town a week later because he believes on the initial court date the judge will just hand them over. In this time, he has not asked to actually see either child. In fact I haven't heard anything more at all from him since he advised me he was filing to have me arrested for kidnapping.
Thoughts?
Modification of Custody: Modification
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