My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA and NC
My ex has custody of our youngest who is a 9 year old boy and I have visitation. We also have a oldest who is 15 who I am have custody of and she gets visitation. She lives in Va and I live in NC. I use to live in VA and at that time we had 50/50 with the youngest. During that time she got him to school late nearly every day (95%), I did not. We were newly divorced and I was looking to move back to NC as I have relatives there and I knew I would be in a better position to provide what help I could to my boys. The oldest has had a problem with school refusal that developed in his middle school years while I and his mother were still married. I worked in a neighboring county and was unable to be there in the mornings when it all seemed to be unraveling. Only until I have moved to NC has it come to light his anxiety about is weight (morbidly obese) and image. He now goes to a personal trainer, is on homebound, seeing therapy and taking medication. He and his mother have little to do with each other and she doesn't do anything to assist in his making progress. He and his younger brother are much different. The youngest is very easy going and compliant. The oldest had always been strong willed and the mother emotional which has created a lot of history between the two of them. When she left she made no effort to see him or tend to him which is why I ended up with custody of him. The youngest on the other hand has had a "ok" relationship. I don't want to get too involved with her emotional issues as there are some but my primary concern is over his tardies. To get back to my moving and why she has custody, even though she was already getting him to school tardy most days, I know that I really did not want to separate him from his mother as they had a decent relationship and from what I understand children at his age look to their mothers or need them more. I knew my decision to move was mine and trying to do what I could for the oldest as I saw a need of urgency to help him. In other words he was my biggest concern as he is nearing the beginning of his adult life. I had a suspicion that she was going to not do well providing enough structure to get him to school on time as it had happened to the oldest when he was younger except not to this extent. I had her sign a court order that she was to get him to school on time and yet she has continued. When I moved there was a half year of school left of which time I sent her a letter and the school had sent letters. This year letters have been sent from the school and I have notified her. This year there have been 116 days of school. 12 of those he has been absent, 74 of those he has been tardy. That leaves 30 days out of 116 where he was there and on time. Most of the time it is not long but at times it is an hour. It is fairly apparent that this is not a concern of hers and so I do not see it improving.
My question, is this grounds enough in his best interest to seek custody? I know my moving and signing over my custody was a way of saying I think she is capable but I did have her sign a (lawyer written consent form I think) that she would get him to school so it is established that I have a problem with it. I am concerned that the longer I wait the more it will seem as though I am ok with this. As I have stated I have had my hands covered with my oldest and with my move it was certainly a challenge and am in a better position.
Thank you for any feed back.
My ex has custody of our youngest who is a 9 year old boy and I have visitation. We also have a oldest who is 15 who I am have custody of and she gets visitation. She lives in Va and I live in NC. I use to live in VA and at that time we had 50/50 with the youngest. During that time she got him to school late nearly every day (95%), I did not. We were newly divorced and I was looking to move back to NC as I have relatives there and I knew I would be in a better position to provide what help I could to my boys. The oldest has had a problem with school refusal that developed in his middle school years while I and his mother were still married. I worked in a neighboring county and was unable to be there in the mornings when it all seemed to be unraveling. Only until I have moved to NC has it come to light his anxiety about is weight (morbidly obese) and image. He now goes to a personal trainer, is on homebound, seeing therapy and taking medication. He and his mother have little to do with each other and she doesn't do anything to assist in his making progress. He and his younger brother are much different. The youngest is very easy going and compliant. The oldest had always been strong willed and the mother emotional which has created a lot of history between the two of them. When she left she made no effort to see him or tend to him which is why I ended up with custody of him. The youngest on the other hand has had a "ok" relationship. I don't want to get too involved with her emotional issues as there are some but my primary concern is over his tardies. To get back to my moving and why she has custody, even though she was already getting him to school tardy most days, I know that I really did not want to separate him from his mother as they had a decent relationship and from what I understand children at his age look to their mothers or need them more. I knew my decision to move was mine and trying to do what I could for the oldest as I saw a need of urgency to help him. In other words he was my biggest concern as he is nearing the beginning of his adult life. I had a suspicion that she was going to not do well providing enough structure to get him to school on time as it had happened to the oldest when he was younger except not to this extent. I had her sign a court order that she was to get him to school on time and yet she has continued. When I moved there was a half year of school left of which time I sent her a letter and the school had sent letters. This year letters have been sent from the school and I have notified her. This year there have been 116 days of school. 12 of those he has been absent, 74 of those he has been tardy. That leaves 30 days out of 116 where he was there and on time. Most of the time it is not long but at times it is an hour. It is fairly apparent that this is not a concern of hers and so I do not see it improving.
My question, is this grounds enough in his best interest to seek custody? I know my moving and signing over my custody was a way of saying I think she is capable but I did have her sign a (lawyer written consent form I think) that she would get him to school so it is established that I have a problem with it. I am concerned that the longer I wait the more it will seem as though I am ok with this. As I have stated I have had my hands covered with my oldest and with my move it was certainly a challenge and am in a better position.
Thank you for any feed back.
Custody and Visitation Issues: Custody Over Tardies
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