My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Lovely state of Massachusetts. I'm looking to get advice, suggestions and info on how to help my husband appeal an abuse prevention order and win. Backstory:
My husband and I met at 13 years old and had a relationship till 17 when we decided to take a break, but remained friends. He started dating this girl which she fell pregnant a little under a year of them dating and meeting. When their child was only two months she requested to get married and have a wedding along with wanting him to get her pregnant again because she wanted 8 kids total before being 30. He denied it since their first was just 2 months old and them only 18, living in his parents house and she couldn't hold a job, he worked minimum wage. She wanted to have many kids and live life fully on welfare. Housing, cash assistance, daycare, food stamps ect. He brushed it off and ignored her crazy request. Three months later, their child five months old she told him she went behind his back and got pregnant again and he couldn't request abortion since she was three months and knew then when she mentioned wanting to get pregnant again. She figured he would deal with it, but he kicked her out and told her she had to live with her mother. That's when she admitted she had another mans baby and knew he wouldn't had agreed. Him and I reconnected and when she found out she ran to district family probate court where he lived. She wanted to start court process to try and get full custody taking away all rights, no visits and wanted child support. So an avocate there suggested abuse usually involved helps that. She filed an affidavit November 2008 claiming he was abusive to her in the past and beat her badly in October 08 when she told him she was pregnant. She said cops came, but let him beat her and told her to leave and didn't allow to get her stuff. She automatically was granted the first abuse prevention order then November 2008. He then had supervised visits weekly and paid support, also required to do father/parent classes. After a few weeks he was granted unsupervised visits which ticked her off so she tried saying he violated order. She filed though a whole day later so it was denied. Few months he used to drive 45 minutes to her home town police station to pickup then 45 min back to his house for visit, then 45 min back to drop off and another 45 back home in the end. She lived 4-5 minutes away and purposely showed up late, made excuses the child couldn't go, harassed him and then cops if they comment on her behavior. She eventually stopped showing up to drop off over time. He filed a motion for contempt and during that case the judge dropped the order in place months before it was to expire. This was 03/09. She went to police station right next door to court house and tried applying for new one which was denied. She tried hours later in her town which also was denied since they had reports of her behavior and actions at drop off and pickups there. She finally was given one in a few towns over which was a different district than the family probate so got a 10 day one. She didn't show at the ten day hearing her lawyer claiming she was getting ready to give birth. So it was extended another two weeks. Which then was motioned to last a year till 2010. In 2010 he decided to let it go and didn't show which was extended again another year till 2012. That's when he questioned her getting granted again a motion for another year and yet nothing happened at all. The judge admitted personally knowing his EX and her family when he went in to try and get it lifted. In 2012 she was granted it for five years and yet nothing to prove to back her up. In five years we've had a second child and trying to get a home. She has also gotten married and has about 6-7 kids now we hear. My husband has a demanding job and can't take off days over dumb things and since its been quiet for five-six years now they wouldn't give her an extension. He figured she finally moved on herself and would let it expire. Well he was served since she showed and they gave her the order for life. Even though there's not been one ounce of contact in over five years. Its been over 7 years since they broke up and she still feels the need to be spiteful. She uses the order to hold above his head to threaten him. She was never granted full sole custody so can't change their child's name without consent with my husband or make life/death descions without him. So if she was to request a last name change she knows he will accept because if not she will claim violation of abuse order and he goes to jail. If say she saw we were to plan a vacation to Disney and feeling saltly that day she will call and say violation of order a day or two before trip knowing he gets arrested and trip canceled. She hasn't made any false violation claims in 7 years now. Last one was 7 days after I gave birth to our oldest and she was mad about it so wanted to make life difficult. She likes the fact though she has that control to mess up any plans in our life having that piece of paper. We have dealt with it for 8 years now and have to go a lifetime! She will cry violation three days after I die knowing he'll be in jail while they bury me. She'll cry violation day of our kids graduation so he's in jail missing it. She's sick like that and uses that damn paper to hold the strings that are tied to it and attatched to us. She knows it's control on her end and can stop anything she thinks we will enjoy. He's got a stack of served orders in over 8 years all which were modified or she requested new one. And each new one has a different date of her being abused or in fear. It's always 2-3 days prior to date she filed for it. I get there is woman that do need it, but there's more abusing it. If he appeals this last motion that was given for life what does he need for proof and back him up that it isn't needed and she's far from being in fear for her life. She knows she was never abused by him and knows he never would look her way let alone beat her. I want to make sure he has everything possible before he is seen to appeal. This isn't just an abuse order anymore this is her figuring out its been her way of controlling our lives.
My husband and I met at 13 years old and had a relationship till 17 when we decided to take a break, but remained friends. He started dating this girl which she fell pregnant a little under a year of them dating and meeting. When their child was only two months she requested to get married and have a wedding along with wanting him to get her pregnant again because she wanted 8 kids total before being 30. He denied it since their first was just 2 months old and them only 18, living in his parents house and she couldn't hold a job, he worked minimum wage. She wanted to have many kids and live life fully on welfare. Housing, cash assistance, daycare, food stamps ect. He brushed it off and ignored her crazy request. Three months later, their child five months old she told him she went behind his back and got pregnant again and he couldn't request abortion since she was three months and knew then when she mentioned wanting to get pregnant again. She figured he would deal with it, but he kicked her out and told her she had to live with her mother. That's when she admitted she had another mans baby and knew he wouldn't had agreed. Him and I reconnected and when she found out she ran to district family probate court where he lived. She wanted to start court process to try and get full custody taking away all rights, no visits and wanted child support. So an avocate there suggested abuse usually involved helps that. She filed an affidavit November 2008 claiming he was abusive to her in the past and beat her badly in October 08 when she told him she was pregnant. She said cops came, but let him beat her and told her to leave and didn't allow to get her stuff. She automatically was granted the first abuse prevention order then November 2008. He then had supervised visits weekly and paid support, also required to do father/parent classes. After a few weeks he was granted unsupervised visits which ticked her off so she tried saying he violated order. She filed though a whole day later so it was denied. Few months he used to drive 45 minutes to her home town police station to pickup then 45 min back to his house for visit, then 45 min back to drop off and another 45 back home in the end. She lived 4-5 minutes away and purposely showed up late, made excuses the child couldn't go, harassed him and then cops if they comment on her behavior. She eventually stopped showing up to drop off over time. He filed a motion for contempt and during that case the judge dropped the order in place months before it was to expire. This was 03/09. She went to police station right next door to court house and tried applying for new one which was denied. She tried hours later in her town which also was denied since they had reports of her behavior and actions at drop off and pickups there. She finally was given one in a few towns over which was a different district than the family probate so got a 10 day one. She didn't show at the ten day hearing her lawyer claiming she was getting ready to give birth. So it was extended another two weeks. Which then was motioned to last a year till 2010. In 2010 he decided to let it go and didn't show which was extended again another year till 2012. That's when he questioned her getting granted again a motion for another year and yet nothing happened at all. The judge admitted personally knowing his EX and her family when he went in to try and get it lifted. In 2012 she was granted it for five years and yet nothing to prove to back her up. In five years we've had a second child and trying to get a home. She has also gotten married and has about 6-7 kids now we hear. My husband has a demanding job and can't take off days over dumb things and since its been quiet for five-six years now they wouldn't give her an extension. He figured she finally moved on herself and would let it expire. Well he was served since she showed and they gave her the order for life. Even though there's not been one ounce of contact in over five years. Its been over 7 years since they broke up and she still feels the need to be spiteful. She uses the order to hold above his head to threaten him. She was never granted full sole custody so can't change their child's name without consent with my husband or make life/death descions without him. So if she was to request a last name change she knows he will accept because if not she will claim violation of abuse order and he goes to jail. If say she saw we were to plan a vacation to Disney and feeling saltly that day she will call and say violation of order a day or two before trip knowing he gets arrested and trip canceled. She hasn't made any false violation claims in 7 years now. Last one was 7 days after I gave birth to our oldest and she was mad about it so wanted to make life difficult. She likes the fact though she has that control to mess up any plans in our life having that piece of paper. We have dealt with it for 8 years now and have to go a lifetime! She will cry violation three days after I die knowing he'll be in jail while they bury me. She'll cry violation day of our kids graduation so he's in jail missing it. She's sick like that and uses that damn paper to hold the strings that are tied to it and attatched to us. She knows it's control on her end and can stop anything she thinks we will enjoy. He's got a stack of served orders in over 8 years all which were modified or she requested new one. And each new one has a different date of her being abused or in fear. It's always 2-3 days prior to date she filed for it. I get there is woman that do need it, but there's more abusing it. If he appeals this last motion that was given for life what does he need for proof and back him up that it isn't needed and she's far from being in fear for her life. She knows she was never abused by him and knows he never would look her way let alone beat her. I want to make sure he has everything possible before he is seen to appeal. This isn't just an abuse order anymore this is her figuring out its been her way of controlling our lives.
Modification: Appeal Life Long Granted Abuse Order After 8 Years of False and Dropped Orders
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