My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Jersey
I was a lifelong PA resident until my girlfriend from across the river (NJ) got pregnant 5 years ago. I then bought a house there for us to live in, to accommodate her older kids (who are now 20 and 15).
When our son was born she quit her job as a cashier in a convenience store to take care of the kids. We later had a daughter together as well.
Fast forward 5 years and things are not working. I did not ever intend to stay in NJ past when GF's younger daughter finished high school (in 2019). If our relationship is ending then I want to move now, for multiple reasons:
*The commute costs money, takes time, and prevents me from getting home reliably to participate in after-school activities. I didn't realize how big a deal this would be when I bought the house but as my kids get older I want to be able to participate fully, and I can't promise when I'll be home.
*Our son will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I'd like him to start in the school district where he'll stay. He is special-needs. The school districts in the PA suburbs are higher-rated than the one we are living in in NJ.
So, I want to obtain primary custody of my children and move with them back to where I'm "from"--which is all of 25 miles from the house. (I've been commuting this distance every day for the past 5 years...it takes 45-90 minutes each way.) The problem in my case is that it's across a state line.
Mom has no job prospects and no realistic probability of earning more than entry-level wages. I don't see how she can support herself and 3 children, even with child support from me. She gets almost nothing ($40/week) for her older daughter. I earn about $100K/yr.
Mom did not have primary custody of her oldest son (the 20-year-old)--he grew up with his father having primary custody. As for the daughter, the dad (different dad) never filed for custody, he's been only minimally-involved in his daughter's life. He lives near our house, in the same school district.
My mom and sister live in PA, maybe 20 miles from where I want to move to. My sister never had kids (early 40s, single) and is very interested in being an active aunt. My mom is also interested in helping out.
Ideally, I'd like us all (GF, kids, plus her daughter) to move to PA (in 2 homes), because I am genuinely willing to have mom involved in the kids' lives. It's a nicer area, with better schools, better jobs, etc. GF's answer is simply "NO"...her latest excuse is she doesn't want to be far from her mom. Apparently, I can have a commute from hell every day, and that's fine, but if her mom (who she sees a few times a year) decides she wants GF's help, she doesn't want to have to drive far.
We have been dancing around the topic, because she has no money to move out unless I give it to her. I'm not going to give her anything unless it's to move to PA, in which case I'll pay everything to get her set up in an apartment, help her with a job hunt, or whatever it takes. I will try to come to an agreement one more time, but expect her to not see reason and leave me with no choice but to file for custody.
I have been a very involved dad, and am basically with my kids every waking second when I'm not at work or commuting. This is going to be a very awkward situation, living with someone while we wait for a custody hearing. But I'm not moving away from my kids and I'm not helping her establish a household in NJ-the current house will be put up for sale if I can get custody and permission to move.
What I am wondering is how realistic my chances are of being awarded custody and ability to move out of state. The house is in Gloucester County, NJ. What can I do to improve my odds? Is there a chance I'd be awarded primary custody but denied permission to move out of state? What if my Plan B is to move to a part of NJ that's farther away than the part of PA I want to move to? I just want to know if I should be doing something other than "call a lawyer" (though I definitely realize I need legal representation for this).
I was a lifelong PA resident until my girlfriend from across the river (NJ) got pregnant 5 years ago. I then bought a house there for us to live in, to accommodate her older kids (who are now 20 and 15).
When our son was born she quit her job as a cashier in a convenience store to take care of the kids. We later had a daughter together as well.
Fast forward 5 years and things are not working. I did not ever intend to stay in NJ past when GF's younger daughter finished high school (in 2019). If our relationship is ending then I want to move now, for multiple reasons:
*The commute costs money, takes time, and prevents me from getting home reliably to participate in after-school activities. I didn't realize how big a deal this would be when I bought the house but as my kids get older I want to be able to participate fully, and I can't promise when I'll be home.
*Our son will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I'd like him to start in the school district where he'll stay. He is special-needs. The school districts in the PA suburbs are higher-rated than the one we are living in in NJ.
So, I want to obtain primary custody of my children and move with them back to where I'm "from"--which is all of 25 miles from the house. (I've been commuting this distance every day for the past 5 years...it takes 45-90 minutes each way.) The problem in my case is that it's across a state line.
Mom has no job prospects and no realistic probability of earning more than entry-level wages. I don't see how she can support herself and 3 children, even with child support from me. She gets almost nothing ($40/week) for her older daughter. I earn about $100K/yr.
Mom did not have primary custody of her oldest son (the 20-year-old)--he grew up with his father having primary custody. As for the daughter, the dad (different dad) never filed for custody, he's been only minimally-involved in his daughter's life. He lives near our house, in the same school district.
My mom and sister live in PA, maybe 20 miles from where I want to move to. My sister never had kids (early 40s, single) and is very interested in being an active aunt. My mom is also interested in helping out.
Ideally, I'd like us all (GF, kids, plus her daughter) to move to PA (in 2 homes), because I am genuinely willing to have mom involved in the kids' lives. It's a nicer area, with better schools, better jobs, etc. GF's answer is simply "NO"...her latest excuse is she doesn't want to be far from her mom. Apparently, I can have a commute from hell every day, and that's fine, but if her mom (who she sees a few times a year) decides she wants GF's help, she doesn't want to have to drive far.
We have been dancing around the topic, because she has no money to move out unless I give it to her. I'm not going to give her anything unless it's to move to PA, in which case I'll pay everything to get her set up in an apartment, help her with a job hunt, or whatever it takes. I will try to come to an agreement one more time, but expect her to not see reason and leave me with no choice but to file for custody.
I have been a very involved dad, and am basically with my kids every waking second when I'm not at work or commuting. This is going to be a very awkward situation, living with someone while we wait for a custody hearing. But I'm not moving away from my kids and I'm not helping her establish a household in NJ-the current house will be put up for sale if I can get custody and permission to move.
What I am wondering is how realistic my chances are of being awarded custody and ability to move out of state. The house is in Gloucester County, NJ. What can I do to improve my odds? Is there a chance I'd be awarded primary custody but denied permission to move out of state? What if my Plan B is to move to a part of NJ that's farther away than the part of PA I want to move to? I just want to know if I should be doing something other than "call a lawyer" (though I definitely realize I need legal representation for this).
Establishing an Order: Can a Father Get Custody and Permission to Relocate, Cohabiting Unmarried Parents
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