My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Missouri
Details:
Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my question.
My Daughter, 11, Was set to go out of town with her Grandfather on my ex Wife's side for one week. He was to pick her up here in St. Louis while returning from a business trip in Kansas City, and take her back to his home in North Carolina for a period of one week. I fully supported and am fine with it.
After that week had passed, my Ex-Wife and her new husband were going to take their vacation time together (they work in the same company), drive to North Carolina themselves, pick my daughter up from my Ex-Wife's Father's after the week, and then take her for an additional week to my Ex-Wife's Mother's place, also in North Carolina. I was also fine with this and fully support her being able to see all of her Grandparents as well as spending one fun week with her Mom and new Step-Father. So...2 weeks total time away on vacation.
Then things changed. My Ex's Father had the date of his trip bumped up by 2 weeks. My Ex and her Husband refuse to change their Vacation date and bump it up. Note there are no hotels booked, no plane tickets needed, and they have not even officially given vacation notice of their days they need off to their workplace. This would result in my Daughter being with the one set of Grandparents for 3 weeks then The other set plus her Mom and Step-Dad for an additional week. 1 month total. My daughter gets exactly 8 weeks of summer vacation. Her last before middle school. Most importantly SHE does not wish to be out of town half of her summer, away from neighborhood friends, regular summer activities, her 2 dogs, etc., and I do not want to miss out on half of my daughter's Summer - all because the other parties involved aren't budging or willing to work out logistics that would make everyone happy.
My Daughter has made it clear to her Mother that she does not wish to go for that period of time and I've also expressed I do not want her gone for half of her summer. I am more than willing to let them do whatever they'd like with the 2 originally agreed upon weeks but the honest truth is, the Grandmother on my Ex's Dad's side is making an ultimatum. "3 weeks or don't bother!" My Ex's history with this woman is shaky, and it's my belief that my Ex would rather go against my wishes and her own Daughter's than have to have one simple uncomfortable phone conversation with her Mother-In-Law. In the end, my Daughter suffers. But if it saves my Ex a pain in the rear, that's ok by her.
Though we have joint custody with no scheduled visitation dates ever, I've always let my Ex come and go as she pleases. Generally, my Ex sees my Daughter between 0-2 days a week. I have residential custody, am the primary care giver, she resides at my house almost full time and the school district we live in is where she attends. Mom sees her on weekend days that are convenient. It has been that way since she was 2.
My Daughter is not comfortable with long periods away from home and the original 2 weeks was going to be her longest yet. But I thought it was good for her. A month, understandably she absolutely does not want to do. I do not feel it is fair for Grandparents who expect everything to "come to them" (they wouldn't even be seeing her if he weren't driving through town in the first place) and a Mom who's just trying to save herself a headache, to dictate half of my Daughter's Summer and half of my summer with her.
Any thoughts or advice is GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you for your time - I know this was a long post.
PS: I should also add that the Step-Father made the comment to my Daughter: "You'll be ready the day we come to get you for your Grandpa or I'll carry you out the door while your Mother goes in and grabs your bags. Basically eluding to the fact that they take her against her will like it or not and kind of insinuating they'd "go through me" if need be. New Step-Dad likes to overcompensate in many ways to impress both my Ex and Daughter...but still...
Details:
- Joint Custody
- I have residential custody
- No set visitation days in history since divorce
- Daughter stays with me 5-7 days a week depending on the week
- Amicable, friendly co-parenting up until this issue basically
Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my question.
My Daughter, 11, Was set to go out of town with her Grandfather on my ex Wife's side for one week. He was to pick her up here in St. Louis while returning from a business trip in Kansas City, and take her back to his home in North Carolina for a period of one week. I fully supported and am fine with it.
After that week had passed, my Ex-Wife and her new husband were going to take their vacation time together (they work in the same company), drive to North Carolina themselves, pick my daughter up from my Ex-Wife's Father's after the week, and then take her for an additional week to my Ex-Wife's Mother's place, also in North Carolina. I was also fine with this and fully support her being able to see all of her Grandparents as well as spending one fun week with her Mom and new Step-Father. So...2 weeks total time away on vacation.
Then things changed. My Ex's Father had the date of his trip bumped up by 2 weeks. My Ex and her Husband refuse to change their Vacation date and bump it up. Note there are no hotels booked, no plane tickets needed, and they have not even officially given vacation notice of their days they need off to their workplace. This would result in my Daughter being with the one set of Grandparents for 3 weeks then The other set plus her Mom and Step-Dad for an additional week. 1 month total. My daughter gets exactly 8 weeks of summer vacation. Her last before middle school. Most importantly SHE does not wish to be out of town half of her summer, away from neighborhood friends, regular summer activities, her 2 dogs, etc., and I do not want to miss out on half of my daughter's Summer - all because the other parties involved aren't budging or willing to work out logistics that would make everyone happy.
My Daughter has made it clear to her Mother that she does not wish to go for that period of time and I've also expressed I do not want her gone for half of her summer. I am more than willing to let them do whatever they'd like with the 2 originally agreed upon weeks but the honest truth is, the Grandmother on my Ex's Dad's side is making an ultimatum. "3 weeks or don't bother!" My Ex's history with this woman is shaky, and it's my belief that my Ex would rather go against my wishes and her own Daughter's than have to have one simple uncomfortable phone conversation with her Mother-In-Law. In the end, my Daughter suffers. But if it saves my Ex a pain in the rear, that's ok by her.
Though we have joint custody with no scheduled visitation dates ever, I've always let my Ex come and go as she pleases. Generally, my Ex sees my Daughter between 0-2 days a week. I have residential custody, am the primary care giver, she resides at my house almost full time and the school district we live in is where she attends. Mom sees her on weekend days that are convenient. It has been that way since she was 2.
My Daughter is not comfortable with long periods away from home and the original 2 weeks was going to be her longest yet. But I thought it was good for her. A month, understandably she absolutely does not want to do. I do not feel it is fair for Grandparents who expect everything to "come to them" (they wouldn't even be seeing her if he weren't driving through town in the first place) and a Mom who's just trying to save herself a headache, to dictate half of my Daughter's Summer and half of my summer with her.
Any thoughts or advice is GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you for your time - I know this was a long post.
PS: I should also add that the Step-Father made the comment to my Daughter: "You'll be ready the day we come to get you for your Grandpa or I'll carry you out the door while your Mother goes in and grabs your bags. Basically eluding to the fact that they take her against her will like it or not and kind of insinuating they'd "go through me" if need be. New Step-Dad likes to overcompensate in many ways to impress both my Ex and Daughter...but still...
Custody and Visitation Issues: Agreeing to Length of Vacation Time for Child
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