Hello all,
My girlfriend was approved for SSDI recently for a mental condition. She was asked to select a rep. payee, and due to availability issues (They gave her a time frame of about 4 business days to pick someone and go to the SSA office) she selected her mother, with whom she's had a rocky relationship with in the past but lately their relationship has been the best it's been in the 5 years we've been together. At this time she was not made aware of any retroactive benefits she was entitled to, and knew her mother would be competent enough to handle her monthly benefit checks she would be getting, especially since a good chunk would go to her rent and utilities. Cut to the meeting at SSA, they inform my gf she should be getting a check for a couple thousand dollars within a week for retroactive benefits and in January she'd be receiving another couple thousand. Well, the long and the short of it is she actually wound up getting a nice 5-figure amount in retroactive benefits. This is where the issues started.
So we go to her mother's house so her and her mom could go to the bank and setup the necessary accounts for future payments to be DD'd into and for the checks she received to be deposited into. So for whatever reason, SSA sent the big check (five-figure amount) to my gf's address, while multiple smaller checks were sent to her mom's house. So my gf shows her mom the check and before she even read the amount she starts accusing my girlfriend of trying to hide money and starts in on her about why the check was sent to my gf and not her (she seriously thinks my gf controls this). Then she looks at the dollar amount and starts flipping out and starts ranting "I GO OUT THERE AND WORK LIKE A [EXPLETIVE] [RACIAL SLUR] WITH 40 [EXPLETIVE] DOLLARS IN MY POCKET AND YOU SIT ON YOUR ASS AND GET THIS KIND OF MONEY?!?!?! I WISH I COULD DO NOTHING AND GET PAID!!!!" Classy, right? So then they go to the bank, and things didn't go to well on that trip. Apparently as soon as they got in the car her mother starts berating her about her medication, and whether or not she took it so she could "handle" the situation (her mother doesn't believe in mental illness or medication, despite the fact we're pretty sure she has a mental illness of her own). Her mother then starts grilling her on why she's so excited to get this money and then berates her about why she doesn't have a savings (not grasping that she's getting this money because she can't work and has no money). So then after they get back to the house my gf expresses what she would like to use the money for, part of which was putting away the max amount allowed under the assets limit (my gf was very thorough with the documentation and asking the SSA rep she met with questions). Her mother starts yelling at her telling her she can't spend that money, and refuses to listen to my gf try to explain that she can't have all that money in the bank forever because it will affect her payments. Her mother just keeps refusing to listen to her, and made it quite clear by what she was saying that she had read NONE of the SSA documentation mailed to her, including the SSA Rep. Payee handbook. The items my gf wants to use the back payments for are all listed in the SSA handbook as approved items; either directly by name, or by the category they fall under. Her mother just kept screaming how she can't spend that money because her mother is gonna get audited. Keep in mind, we are not talking about her monthly benefits, but a five-figure amount in retroactive benefits, while she still receives her regular monthly benefits. My girlfriend said that if she was that concerned about getting in trouble or overwhelmed, then my gf would select someone else to handle her finances. Her mom didn't like that answer, and "claims" the issue is about my gf "throwing away" the money. More belligerent/unintelligent ramblings continued from this point on, so I excused myself from the house, because her mother made it clear she had no want to educate herself on anything at hand. Her mother "generously" released some money last week to cover back rent/utilities, November rent/utilities, some food, some clothing, transportation, and is releasing some more money supposedly this week to cover a bunch of outstanding bills and bills due this month (Keep in mind, my gf had to fight with her to get anything more than her rent and some of the outstanding bills initially). My gf was mailed her October benefits check last week, but hasn't given it to her mom yet because she's worried her mom's going to scream at her for 1) getting MORE money and 2) because the check was sent to my gf and not her mom. Had my gf known about the retroactive benefits before hand, as well as how absolutely ridiculous her mother was going to be, she would've made other arrangements. This added stress is very counter-productive and has done a number to my gf's mental state.
My gf spoke with her therapist, who has experience with SSI/SSDI, ran the items she wanted to use the money for by her. and she said they were all fine and agreed that my gf needs to remove her mother from being her payee. What is the best way to go about changing her rep. payee ASAP? The new payee she wants to use is aware of the situation and has no problem taking over responsibility.
Thank you in advance.
My girlfriend was approved for SSDI recently for a mental condition. She was asked to select a rep. payee, and due to availability issues (They gave her a time frame of about 4 business days to pick someone and go to the SSA office) she selected her mother, with whom she's had a rocky relationship with in the past but lately their relationship has been the best it's been in the 5 years we've been together. At this time she was not made aware of any retroactive benefits she was entitled to, and knew her mother would be competent enough to handle her monthly benefit checks she would be getting, especially since a good chunk would go to her rent and utilities. Cut to the meeting at SSA, they inform my gf she should be getting a check for a couple thousand dollars within a week for retroactive benefits and in January she'd be receiving another couple thousand. Well, the long and the short of it is she actually wound up getting a nice 5-figure amount in retroactive benefits. This is where the issues started.
So we go to her mother's house so her and her mom could go to the bank and setup the necessary accounts for future payments to be DD'd into and for the checks she received to be deposited into. So for whatever reason, SSA sent the big check (five-figure amount) to my gf's address, while multiple smaller checks were sent to her mom's house. So my gf shows her mom the check and before she even read the amount she starts accusing my girlfriend of trying to hide money and starts in on her about why the check was sent to my gf and not her (she seriously thinks my gf controls this). Then she looks at the dollar amount and starts flipping out and starts ranting "I GO OUT THERE AND WORK LIKE A [EXPLETIVE] [RACIAL SLUR] WITH 40 [EXPLETIVE] DOLLARS IN MY POCKET AND YOU SIT ON YOUR ASS AND GET THIS KIND OF MONEY?!?!?! I WISH I COULD DO NOTHING AND GET PAID!!!!" Classy, right? So then they go to the bank, and things didn't go to well on that trip. Apparently as soon as they got in the car her mother starts berating her about her medication, and whether or not she took it so she could "handle" the situation (her mother doesn't believe in mental illness or medication, despite the fact we're pretty sure she has a mental illness of her own). Her mother then starts grilling her on why she's so excited to get this money and then berates her about why she doesn't have a savings (not grasping that she's getting this money because she can't work and has no money). So then after they get back to the house my gf expresses what she would like to use the money for, part of which was putting away the max amount allowed under the assets limit (my gf was very thorough with the documentation and asking the SSA rep she met with questions). Her mother starts yelling at her telling her she can't spend that money, and refuses to listen to my gf try to explain that she can't have all that money in the bank forever because it will affect her payments. Her mother just keeps refusing to listen to her, and made it quite clear by what she was saying that she had read NONE of the SSA documentation mailed to her, including the SSA Rep. Payee handbook. The items my gf wants to use the back payments for are all listed in the SSA handbook as approved items; either directly by name, or by the category they fall under. Her mother just kept screaming how she can't spend that money because her mother is gonna get audited. Keep in mind, we are not talking about her monthly benefits, but a five-figure amount in retroactive benefits, while she still receives her regular monthly benefits. My girlfriend said that if she was that concerned about getting in trouble or overwhelmed, then my gf would select someone else to handle her finances. Her mom didn't like that answer, and "claims" the issue is about my gf "throwing away" the money. More belligerent/unintelligent ramblings continued from this point on, so I excused myself from the house, because her mother made it clear she had no want to educate herself on anything at hand. Her mother "generously" released some money last week to cover back rent/utilities, November rent/utilities, some food, some clothing, transportation, and is releasing some more money supposedly this week to cover a bunch of outstanding bills and bills due this month (Keep in mind, my gf had to fight with her to get anything more than her rent and some of the outstanding bills initially). My gf was mailed her October benefits check last week, but hasn't given it to her mom yet because she's worried her mom's going to scream at her for 1) getting MORE money and 2) because the check was sent to my gf and not her mom. Had my gf known about the retroactive benefits before hand, as well as how absolutely ridiculous her mother was going to be, she would've made other arrangements. This added stress is very counter-productive and has done a number to my gf's mental state.
My gf spoke with her therapist, who has experience with SSI/SSDI, ran the items she wanted to use the money for by her. and she said they were all fine and agreed that my gf needs to remove her mother from being her payee. What is the best way to go about changing her rep. payee ASAP? The new payee she wants to use is aware of the situation and has no problem taking over responsibility.
Thank you in advance.
Social Security Issues: Best Way to Change SSDI Rep. Payee Asap
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