My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
Hi All. To help in any advice I'd like to provide the following info (Note: there is a TL;DR version at the end): I have a 6 yr old Daughter who will be 7 in the spring. I have never been married to the mother. The mother has always been the primary custodial parent. The mother and I had issues in the past that led me to go to court to ensure a custody arrangement for our daughter. With mediation, we agreed on the schedule of me having our daughter every weekend Friday-Saturday night and one short visit during the week. After court, the mother and I have gotten along quite well. We've had that court arrangement since the early fall of 2014.
In early 2016, I got laid off. After much discussion, the decision was made for me and my then fiance to move from CA to IL to be near my now wife's family where I had a very good job opportunity waiting for me (and my wife got to keep her job to work remotely in IL). I discussed all of this with the mother and we agreed to have our daughter visit me in the summers and around holiday breaks.
I had our daughter this summer and she has gone back to her mother's place. Our daughter seems to be struggling with the distance and wants to be able to see both of her parents more often. Before the school year started, the mother had talked about homeschooling our daughter, however, she already has a homeschooling schedule with her two older daughters and said it would be impossible for her to also properly have the time and attention to home-school our daughter (she has a daughter with Asperger and a daughter with Autism that requires a lot of her attention). So she enrolled our daughter in a charter school.
Recently, their family was sick and she kept her kids out of school and said that our daughter did very well with just working on school work for a little bit of time and then running off to play without getting behind on her work. In light of this, she thinks its possible for her to home school her after all. She is now suggesting that she pulls her out of school, home schools her, and that we change our scheduled visits to be 3 months on and off in each place. Also, that we would not file this through court so she can continue to get the continued financial support she needs to support our daughter in her house (which I do not have an issue with so long as I continue to see our daughter.)
I would love to see my daughter more often, and neither me or my daughter likes the idea being away from each other for majority of the year. However, I want what is best for our child and I have concerns on the effects of a 3 month on and off schedule and at such a far distance away. My concerns are her not feeling like she has a home bouncing back and forth exactly 50 50 time, being drained from the frequent travel, and having to transition from the two very different family environment and state cultures that frequently, and though my wife and I would do my daughter's school work with her while with us in the school year - I fear there still being a disruption in having adequate and appropriate education with the frequent transitions.
TL;DR version: The mother of our child lives in CA and has been the primary custodial parent, I relocated to IL this year (with consent and agreed arrangement with the mother), and now the mother is wanting to home school our child and have our child go back and forth every 3 months. I am wondering if this is healthy for our child or not.
Any suggestions, feedback, or comments would be appreciated. Again, I love my daughter and would love to see her more often than just summers and holidays, but I want to do what is best for her as well!
Hi All. To help in any advice I'd like to provide the following info (Note: there is a TL;DR version at the end): I have a 6 yr old Daughter who will be 7 in the spring. I have never been married to the mother. The mother has always been the primary custodial parent. The mother and I had issues in the past that led me to go to court to ensure a custody arrangement for our daughter. With mediation, we agreed on the schedule of me having our daughter every weekend Friday-Saturday night and one short visit during the week. After court, the mother and I have gotten along quite well. We've had that court arrangement since the early fall of 2014.
In early 2016, I got laid off. After much discussion, the decision was made for me and my then fiance to move from CA to IL to be near my now wife's family where I had a very good job opportunity waiting for me (and my wife got to keep her job to work remotely in IL). I discussed all of this with the mother and we agreed to have our daughter visit me in the summers and around holiday breaks.
I had our daughter this summer and she has gone back to her mother's place. Our daughter seems to be struggling with the distance and wants to be able to see both of her parents more often. Before the school year started, the mother had talked about homeschooling our daughter, however, she already has a homeschooling schedule with her two older daughters and said it would be impossible for her to also properly have the time and attention to home-school our daughter (she has a daughter with Asperger and a daughter with Autism that requires a lot of her attention). So she enrolled our daughter in a charter school.
Recently, their family was sick and she kept her kids out of school and said that our daughter did very well with just working on school work for a little bit of time and then running off to play without getting behind on her work. In light of this, she thinks its possible for her to home school her after all. She is now suggesting that she pulls her out of school, home schools her, and that we change our scheduled visits to be 3 months on and off in each place. Also, that we would not file this through court so she can continue to get the continued financial support she needs to support our daughter in her house (which I do not have an issue with so long as I continue to see our daughter.)
I would love to see my daughter more often, and neither me or my daughter likes the idea being away from each other for majority of the year. However, I want what is best for our child and I have concerns on the effects of a 3 month on and off schedule and at such a far distance away. My concerns are her not feeling like she has a home bouncing back and forth exactly 50 50 time, being drained from the frequent travel, and having to transition from the two very different family environment and state cultures that frequently, and though my wife and I would do my daughter's school work with her while with us in the school year - I fear there still being a disruption in having adequate and appropriate education with the frequent transitions.
TL;DR version: The mother of our child lives in CA and has been the primary custodial parent, I relocated to IL this year (with consent and agreed arrangement with the mother), and now the mother is wanting to home school our child and have our child go back and forth every 3 months. I am wondering if this is healthy for our child or not.
Any suggestions, feedback, or comments would be appreciated. Again, I love my daughter and would love to see her more often than just summers and holidays, but I want to do what is best for her as well!
Relocation: What Custody Arrangement is in the Best Interest of the Child
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