My question involves a child custody case from the State of: AZ/ID
Before I ask this question I guess I'll give a little background to this situation.
My husband's son (my step son) was taken away from his mother and her boyfriend when he was three because her boyfriend was abusing him. He was there visiting her for the summer. My husband was apparently not on the birth certificate so he was not informed this. When he finally did find out about a month later his son was already in the foster system and placed with a family. Long story short he established paternity and got put on the birth certificate. It took us two years to get his son back to us with lots of hoops to jump through. We have a very strong relationship with his foster parents who he thinks of as another set of parents. When we finally got his son back the court in AZ awarded us physical custody. We did all of our court hearings over the phone because we live in ID, so once we were awarded physical custody our lawyers told us good luck and congratulations and hung up the phone so the mother could continue the pending case she had with her daughter. We didn't hear any kind of visitation order but we still send him for visits with his mother over winter break and summer. She is not with the man that abused him anymore so we aren't worried about his safety. We also let him visit his foster parents because he loves them just as much as anybody else in our family. This past winter break he went to visit his mother who lives in the same city as his foster parents. He asked her to see them once at the mall and she told him no because they "did something to her" and he was absolutely heart broken. We told him that it was her decision and he should listen to her because she is his mother. This summer we wanted to send him to his mother for about a month and a with his foster parents for two weeks. They are wanting him at about the same time for this summer break. She is absolutely unwilling to cooperate with any of us. She keeps saying she is his mother she gets the final say (which I'm thinking is true). I just don't think it is in our child's best interest to be kept away from a huge part of his life because of her. I don't want him to end up resenting her for these decisions. I believe he needs a relationship with his mother but I don't think she is emotionally responsible enough to be making these decisions. I'm wondering if we need to get a lawyer and come up with an agreement so there are no issues in the future or what our options are?
Before I ask this question I guess I'll give a little background to this situation.
My husband's son (my step son) was taken away from his mother and her boyfriend when he was three because her boyfriend was abusing him. He was there visiting her for the summer. My husband was apparently not on the birth certificate so he was not informed this. When he finally did find out about a month later his son was already in the foster system and placed with a family. Long story short he established paternity and got put on the birth certificate. It took us two years to get his son back to us with lots of hoops to jump through. We have a very strong relationship with his foster parents who he thinks of as another set of parents. When we finally got his son back the court in AZ awarded us physical custody. We did all of our court hearings over the phone because we live in ID, so once we were awarded physical custody our lawyers told us good luck and congratulations and hung up the phone so the mother could continue the pending case she had with her daughter. We didn't hear any kind of visitation order but we still send him for visits with his mother over winter break and summer. She is not with the man that abused him anymore so we aren't worried about his safety. We also let him visit his foster parents because he loves them just as much as anybody else in our family. This past winter break he went to visit his mother who lives in the same city as his foster parents. He asked her to see them once at the mall and she told him no because they "did something to her" and he was absolutely heart broken. We told him that it was her decision and he should listen to her because she is his mother. This summer we wanted to send him to his mother for about a month and a with his foster parents for two weeks. They are wanting him at about the same time for this summer break. She is absolutely unwilling to cooperate with any of us. She keeps saying she is his mother she gets the final say (which I'm thinking is true). I just don't think it is in our child's best interest to be kept away from a huge part of his life because of her. I don't want him to end up resenting her for these decisions. I believe he needs a relationship with his mother but I don't think she is emotionally responsible enough to be making these decisions. I'm wondering if we need to get a lawyer and come up with an agreement so there are no issues in the future or what our options are?
Custody and Visitation Issues: Who Gets Final Say in This Custody Issue
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